Frustration

I started to lose my interest on writing on face book notes. I'd rather write short notes and long notes here. I do still enjoy looking what my friends are thinking though and I mostly enjoy the fast updates about Indonesian politics from the status updates, links and notes. It maybe does not make any sense for some people, but for me it is different as I have activists, politicians and journalists as friends. They are the ones who give the quick updates, quicker that checking some online news at the same time and, even nicer, they sort out the news for me :-) as they only put interesting news on their updates.

I also read notes on stories about leftist movement during Soeharto, how amazing the lives of some leftists at that time (they are worth some movies, I think), corruption cases in some remote areas in Indonesia and conflicts in some regions. Things I did not know before. I knew faster than any
journalists did when kbs passed away and I knew the latest gossips about a senior and well-respected NGO activist having an affair ;-) (I still don't believe it though). All because of face book! :-P Sometimes some people just pop out on my chat window and give me information. I think I know things faster that even my friends in Indonesia do. Internet is amazing. But sometimes I am just tired because it constantly makes me think. And it distracts me from my work.

But this is not a story about face book, I did that story. This is about how Indonesian politics lately makes me overwhelmed. Information overloaded, from face book. And how I am getting frustrated here in Seattle.

Three President/VP candidates are already out (again, I first knew it from face book). You know them and I don't really want to discuss who they are. I am just frustrated about things I read. I am sick to see how some Islamic party in the name of Islam support one of the biggest human rights abuse perpetrators. I am sick to know how much money a VP candidate used in negotiating to run with the supposedly popular presidential candidate (again from a face book friend who is closely related to the person who suddenly popped out to 'curhat' on my chat window). And I am furious to see how they deceive us and many people are happily deceived, in the name of I don't know what.

Maybe it is good for me to be here. Or not. I don't know. Well I think so. I had times when I got so furious with politics in Jakarta when at the same time I saw homeless people under the bridge, 'ojek payung' kids running in the rain and people in a soon-to-be-bulldozed-kampung behind my apartment building. At least, maybe, I am here.

I know this is selfish. I remember an activist friend, UH, sent me a surprising and mentally bugging email just before I left Indonesia: "You know that if Aung San Su Kyii ever studied abroad, there can never be any democratic movement in Burma, I don't think it is good for us that you leave, we need you here, but it is of course your decision, all the best anyway, comrade!" I always say, look, I am no one, no one would even realize that I am not in Indonesia except my family.

But, yes, some friends and colleagues have to face all these, not only on notes, blogs, and chats. They are facing the real world, some already discussed some scenarios, some held events to remind people who prabowo and wiranto are, some work on aa case, some work on bpk members election and so forth. And I am here. Just here. With my books and laptop. I feel terrible.