Kremasi

Waktu saya mati nanti, saya mau dikremasi.

I talked about this with Frank at one point, when we talked about “belief”, as usual (we share many thoughts about beliefs). We concluded that we want to be cremated after death. And I came across this conversation again with Arlene just now, as she found an interesting article on New York Times about a fight between Hindus and Moslems in a neighborhood about how a son of a Hindu-mother and a Moslem-father should be treated after death, burn or bury? Apparently this article reminded her about Dan's cremation. She asked me why were many people surprised when she told them that Dan was going to be cremated. Interesting.

I answered: because it is rare in Indonesia to have a “choice” on how you want to be treated after death. And they know that Dan was “officially” a Jewish, so he should have been buried. In Indonesia generally one does not choose; the religion (your family, your community) does. It is given. You don't question it, you don't alter it. Just like in that little neighborhood of Islamic community in New York.

I remember at one point I discussed a similar topic with gepede over ym. It was actually about whether or not to have religion written in our KTPs. Although she agrees on the right to privacy, she said in the end for her it is about how she will be treated if she dies somewhere when nobody knows her. How would the caretaker of her corpse know how she has to be treated: that there should be the special Islamic prayer for the death and that she has to be buried in special ways. I was surprised at that time (of course she could not see me so she might not realise how surprised I was :-)), to realise how that thing matters to her, which means this also matters to many other Indonesians, whereas it never occurred to me at all. When I die, I die, there would be a deadbody, without soul, without brain, i will become just a "thing" in the world, just like a dust.

Yup, this is about belief. Whether or not you believe in life after death. I am an agnostic and I think more about practicality. I don’t want, for example, my family to be burdened to pay a rent for my grave and feel guilty if they don’t take care of my grave (cabutin rumput, bikin nisan yang bagus, ngasih bunga, ziarah tiap sebelum puasa dan setelah lebaran). Well, I always hate to be a burden to other people, especially when I am dead! :-) what’s the point? It is not fair for them. Just remember me (or not) for what I have done, good or bad.

But this does not mean I feel burdened with religion. Not at all. I love “religious rituals” because of its amazing cultural, psychological and community-binding effects. I love lebaran, I like taking care of my grandparents graves, I like facilitating people who want to pray (whatever religion). Because I think religion is an amazing phenomenon and I respect people who believe. And in return I only want people to respect what I want, which is to be cremated after death. I think it’s ecological friendly, too. Also, I will not waste 1x2 m2 for my dead body while many people are homeless and need land for their lives. And I hope my family will not fight among themselves because of this (ge-er banget yak hehe).