Luka

Dunno what’s going on in me. Maybe it’s the pms, other symptoms are already appearing, too. Plus I’ve been having too many thoughts, too many, from the hell-dinner with wolfowitz, the crazy sms story, the wedding, the executive director, the frogs, LoGA, suharto. Too many. Overloaded maybe. I will write about them some day, they are too interesting to be forgotten.

Was digging the past like crazy on the net. What for? I don’t know.

I am still angry about that girl. I’ve seen her picture now - I bet he is surprised to know about this, but he should have known that I’ve got good sources, especially in Aceh. She really looks like a slut. Oh shoot!

Then I was digging for the names of old bf’s. Ngapain coba? Nggak tau deh. I was just drawned in the net, from google to blogger search engines. Looking for her name and other names I found as well as the names of old bf’s and the frogs. I really don’t know why. As if I don’t have anything to do… ah gila euy. It must be the pms (yes, of course, just blame the pms when you are stupid!). I’m tired playing detective but I don’t know why I keep doing it for the whole day.

Nggak tau lah, seperti kata Soe Hok Gie, “kadang-kadang masa lalu begitu berat menarik ke belakang.” Saya tidak akan pernah melupakan goresan-goresan luka ini. Tidak akan. Lalu saya akan melukai orang lain?