(hampir) Independen

Belakangan ini gue memang semakin menikmati independensi gue. Sruntulan sana sini. Nggak perlu mobil, nggak tergantung orang, nggak perlu diurusin orang. Nikmat banget hidup seperti ini. Memang tetap tak merdeka, kartu nama bikin "berat".. direktur cuy! haha. Makanya bingung juga, mau jadi direktur lagi apa enggak. Kata Boncel gw ngomong gitu jadi kayak pejabat, kayak suharto dulu kali yeee.. kesannya semua tergantung gw. Banyak sih yg gue pikirin. Yang jelas rencana sekolah jadinya th. 2007, bukan 2006. Tapi gue sebenarnya punya banyak rencana untuk kabur dari kota gila ini. Gue mau tinggal di desa untuk sementara. Atau advokasi sesuatu yang konkrit di luar jakarta. Kepinginnya 2006 gue bisa melakukan itu semua. Tanpa ikatan. Dan semakin sruntulan, tinggal angkat ransel ke mana-mana. Kan nggak ada gantungan dan yg digantungin. Ke desa, ke DPR, banyak nulis. Banyak baca. Nggak usah mikirin laporan kayak sekarang, bikin proposal, mikirin ngecat kantor dlsb yg bikin kepala pusing.

Soal lain. Denger cerita p dan f minggu lalu soal penjara dan hidup mereka waktu masa darurat militer. They had been through so many bad things, for something that they believe in. It’s so amazing how people can believe in things so much and make sacrifices. The thought about wars that i wrote above is real. Gimana mereka disiksa di penjara dan lihat teman2 mereka disiksa dan dibunuh di depan mata. Ketakutan akan kelangsungan keluarga mereka. It’s for something that they really believe in. Maybe some people also look at me like that though. Maybe i am seen as someone who works too hard and sacrifice too much (but i don’t think i do) as this is something i believe in. I come to think how lovely it is to work for something you believe in, though it’s not war and i’m not as brave as he and his friends are. Can’t imagine if i work somewhere only to work and get money, like working as a secretary or as a ordinary lawyer or as a bank teller. What would I believe in? Maybe for people like that the belief is in money and nice life. I don’t know how strong the feeling is compare to what i feel now. Can’t judge it, will be too biased lah. Of course i’d say this is much better that working for money.


Tulisan gw ga nyambung ya. Aneh. Gila kali gue. Selain Dory, mungkin gue juga agak gila, paling enggak ery nuduh gue begitu (ery bikin blog serius euy, keren juga). Lagi banyak hal yang menyenangkan dan lagi sibuk banget, but i simply love my life.